i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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