I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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