I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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