At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
