And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He has the fingertips of a God
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