whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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