dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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