I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
