i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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