Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
