my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
