i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
