so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
