I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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