we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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