Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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