Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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