I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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