Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
