I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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