I could have mohawked her pubes.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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