Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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