I swear she didn't look like that last week.
it was like eating out sand paper
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
