shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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