you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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