I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
