i was born a porn star she said
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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