The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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