I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I am naked and annoyed.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
