before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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