giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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