never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
