I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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