The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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