apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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