ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
