brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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