i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
