he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Sext me about skeletons
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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