I wanna bring you to show and tell
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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