Will you blow on my dice?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Randomize
