Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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