After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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