Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
