i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
