Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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