So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He passed out mid-signature
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
