i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
