My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize