I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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