before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Randomize
