so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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