**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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