I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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