my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize