Just mADE A PArabola og urine
4 words: hood of his car
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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