So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
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There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
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sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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