We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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