that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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