I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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