If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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