Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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