I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
